Returning (after a brief sabbatical) ... to the open water!

As I'd not even so much as put a toe in the lake (actually in any lake, pond or body of water larger than 25x10m) for a month, I promised Leon and Ally at Swimyourswim that I would definitely be swimming the following Saturday, and put in my 'welcome back into the fold' cake request with Master Baker Chris, so it would be considered rude to not to turn up, however on Friday night as I was putting together all my kit, I found myself looking for excuses not to go, even resorting to making up imminent and terrible adverse weather conditions that would (if they were actually true) prevent me from getting there, and even posted on Facebook evidence (see exhibit 1 below) that Antarctica was indeed headed our way. 

Desperate times call for desperate measures!

It’s been several weeks since I last swam in the lake, and with it being Christmas, which was then followed by a nasty bug, I was able to come up with some quite plausible reasons/excuses not to go. My last open water swimming experience hadn’t been all that great, and so returning from my sabbatical I felt overwhelmed and scared. All my concerns were met by the reassuring words of the very lovely Ally, I'd gone through my whole repertoire of excuses before exhausted, I finally ran out and said I'd go (I was able to think of a thousand more reasons not to after I'd agreed I'd go). Chris had told me he'd already baked the brownies for me, and if nothing else, the thought of any chocolate not fulfilling its destiny (me eating it) does not sit all that comfortably with me. 

The adverse weather I’d been hoping for (wintry storms, blizzard, dust storm, tropical cyclone, Antarctica itself, anything really) didn’t materialize, and so having run out of any plausable excuses I had no choice other than to go. I have to admit, it was lovely to be reunited with my swim family again and I nearly shed a real tear when Chris showed me the large Tupperware box filled with chocolate brownies he’d made for my homecoming, and as I wasn’t sure whether the whole batch were just for me, I opted for just one for after the swim and one for the road, and after hugs all round (I couldn’t be sure really whether they were long hugs or whether I was clinging on to prolong getting in), it was time to get on with the job in hand.

Star Baker Chris's chocolate brownies.

The water was the coldest I’d swum in at 3.5oc.  I stood for a good few minutes on the shoreline along with Deb, a fellow swim family member, who was also feeling a little apprehensive. assessing the lake (for no reason whatsoever, although did note the absence of swans today). We decided we would get in together, and whilst Deb got straight in and swam off, it was with many encouraging words from Shark that I finally got in up to my knees, before doing an abrupt turn and getting straight back out again (my costume wasn’t even wet, and I seriously considered stopping at a lovely warm, inviting pool on the way home to have a swim instead). Shark always puts my coat on over hers as it adds an extra layer for her, and keeps it warm for me when I get out, however she had barely done the zip up before she reluctantly handed it back to me. 

I was ready to call it a day even before I started. I stood on the shoreline in two minds whether to get back in the water or to go back to the clubhouse where it was warm and there were chocolate brownies... It was during my indecision at the side of the lake that Izzy (lovely, and known for her blunt yet comical delivery) said to me “if I didn’t think you could do it I wouldn’t be saying this, but you can, and I am…. If you don’t stop being a Princess and get in, I am prepared to take my boot off and kick you in.” Now, I’d like to think that it was meant for the greater good and with a small level of affection, but it was that and something that Jane also said, “it’s all in your mind. You can do this” that made me fling off my coat (poor Shark didn’t see it coming), do an about turn and get back in. No messing, no faffing about, no backwards glance, straight in and straight off.

Once in, I was surprised at how good it felt (once the initial cold shock had subsided and I’d had a chat with myself to remind me that there were no fishes, monsters or lake snakes (only buoy ropes) in the water). All my earlier worries and anxieties disappeared, along with the feeling in my feet and hands and pretty much my whole body soon after that!

the original photo

I swam one lap of 300m, mostly with my face out of the water. I didn’t care that it wasn’t far, I didn’t care that it wasn’t at any great speed. I was back in the water and loving it, and so rather than carrying on to do another lap, and possibly push my luck, I decided to call it a day whilst I was still enjoying it. As it has been a while I’d forgotten that getting out when you are at best uncoordinated is challenging, let alone getting out without any feeling in any of your limbs…Suffice to say my exit from the lake was nothing like the flamboyant entry earlier and was Oscar worthy but for all the wrong reasons…

Once Shark had scooped me up and passed me a towel, I tried (really hard) to put my fur lined swim shoes on, however I just couldn’t manage it. Every time I attempted to put them on they also moved with my feet. I was too cold to be able to maneuver them in and so asked Shark, rather than watch me in amusement, help me put my wet, cold feet in them. Laughing she told me it was not because my feet were wet that they wouldn’t go in, it was in fact my feet objecting to being put into such nasty shoes! I couldn’t argue with her, they really are quite horrid, whilst at the same time functional!  

The original photo that Shark added graffiti to.

Back in the clubhouse I changed as quickly as my frozen self would allow, with the help of Shark passing me my clothes. I noticed I was lobster pink all bar one toe. Panicking I turned to Shark for reassurance. She reliably informed me it is something called Raynaud’s disease (to do with blood circulation and cold) rather than the beginnings of anything more sinister like galloping dry rot or trench foot, but just to be on the safe side, I decided to keep a close eye on it over the course of the day. My feet were so cold I’m not sure that I’d notice if it had actually fallen off. I would have to take her word for it as I’m not sure whether operating a phone and trying to dial the ambulance service with frozen, shaky hands could even be achieved anyway.

Recovering in the clubhouse café I reflected on my morning. I was so, so pleased that I’d got in, and although a brief dip, I was (still am) delighted. I really don’t know what it was that caused the light bulb moment just before I got in. It could have been a number of reasons - The fact that I’d got up before the crack of dawn, driven over an hour to get there, and had already forked out £5 to swim may have had something to do with it. It could have been knowing that Star Baker Chris only issues his wares to those that have actually had a swim, and I’m not all that convinced that wading up to my knee and then getting out actually qualifies me for even one of the chocolate brownies he's baked especially, that I'd already helped myself to. It could also have been down to sheer determination and bloody mindedness, however when I think about it, it was most likely to be the threat of Izzy’s foot making contact with my backside that really had me make my mind up. Bootless or not (although I hear she favours the steel toe capped variety), I don't rate my chances and suspect that I may well have found myself swiftly face planting the lake if executed! Whatever the reason, I did it! I finally got back in...Yay!

Finally, it's a year since I first began writing my little blog, which stared as a way of writing about my recovery, the training and the swim I did last year (Windermere one way). I have been amazed and overwhelmed at the amazing response, and lovely messages of support I have had. After I had completed the swim I was asked if I would consider putting last year’s journey into a book. Going from a blog to an e-book is something quite different, and a lot scarier, however I decided after a lot of consideration to take the plunge (no pun intended) and do it, and finally has now been published this week on Amazon. How amazing (but mostly scary) is that? I hope that for those of you that read it feel inspired to not only take on difficult challenges, but also to never underestimate how far you can push yourself to achieve what you set out to do.

Open Water Woman Swims Windermere is available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Open-Water-Woman-Swims-Windermere-ebook/dp/B079ZB1775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520196854&sr=8-1&keywords=jacqui+Hargrave

Bring on the Hurly Burley!

This time last year, all New Year’s resolutions, training plans and goals were (pending on surgery and recovery going well) all in the bag. This year, in contrast, we are 2 weeks into January already and all resolutions are yet to get off the ground.

There weren’t even that many:

1) Enter Hurly Burly Swim

2) Sort out an appropriate training plan and smart (er) goals

3) Get my nutrition in order (better informed, better choices – my cake days will be limited… I feel sick and bereft even just thinking about it already!)

4) Get back into the open water ASAP

NYR#1 – Enter the Hurly Burly - I actually entered this before NYE so technically you could argue that it’s not actually a resolution, as it was already in the bag, but hear me out first (not that I’ll be removing it…). The reason for my early entry? I missed out last year due to far too much faffing about deciding whether I should do it, before deciding that I would do it, by which time I couldn’t do it as I was too late, and so taking no chances this year, I had been eagerly awaiting news of the swim date, and so when the entry date (and time) by Outdoor Swimming Society was announced I was ready for it. The evening beforehand was busy with setting multiple alarms (I barely slept anyway), locating my credit card and having the link on the computer ready to go, and the following day, despite the computer deciding to be on go slow, and me having the mother of all meltdowns, I finally, after much panic, got a place! Shark will vouch it was ugly as she was on the other end of the phone smugly informing me hers had seamlessly gone through, whilst I was sitting in front of my computer wailing “why?” at it several times before the penny dropped and I realized that there was a very strong possibility that it was human error and not indeed the fault of the computer, or the credit card, or indeed all inanimate objects in reaching distance, that I was also blaming. A quick e-mail to OSS confirmed it was in fact me, and the cleverer people at that end had my heart rate back out of the danger zone in next to no time (at it’s worst I peaked at 114bpm my Garmin reliably informed me), and I was officially announced (via e-mail) in!

NYR#2 – Resolution 1 complete it was now time to sort out an appropriate training plan- I’ve swam this distance on a few occasions now, and have read several training plans, but before now opted to do my own. I’d like to think they had some degree of success on the back of the fact that a) I didn’t drown, b) I finished them all and c) it obviously hasn’t put me off.

And so I arranged to meet with Coach Morg, to discuss a new training plan, which he would continually review, monitor and adapt if necessary. This would be done via weekly phone calls, monthly meetings (to include a swim) and me sharing with him the data collected by my Garmin watch (via Garmin/Strava I think - all very new to me). Truth is I’m not sure how I feel about this as it allows Coach to track my progress for every swim. Very Big Brother (jeez there’ll be no way of hiding a bad swim will there? It’s literally there in black and white).  However it is a great way for him to offer me immediate feedback, and so need to get over myself (I can always delete any shoddy efforts and redo them. This could mean that I have to do several re-swims in order for it to look impressive, but needs must sometimes).

NYR#3 - Get my nutrition in order – I know how to do this, but with it just being Christmas and all I received 3 yards of Jaffa Cakes (this is an actual thing) along with several other gifts not known for their nutritional quality. Unfortunately my complete lack of willpower when it comes to Jaffa Cakes, the fact that I was overjoyed that there were 12 Jaffa Cakes per packet in these yard tubes, rather than the new 10 per packet (See… now I think I’m over thinking it – if Jaffa cakes became 10 per box in September, I’m now worried that the gift givers (you know who you are) bought them pre the much publicized “shrink” and possibly were out of date by Christmas. I confess I didn’t check that bit, and I couldn’t be sure whether they were being tight, or thoughtful… I’ll hope for the latter), added to that there’s my ‘not sharing’ policy (There is one exception to this rule however and that’s if it’s fallen on the floor first and/or I don’t want it), other than that it’s an absolute no (Not dis-similar to Smithy in Gavin &Stacey (series 3, episode 2)). This isn’t an apology by the way; I own my selfishness! And also as I don’t like wasting food, I was obligated to eat all of them before NYE!

NYR#4 - Get back into the open water ASAP – I confess, I haven’t swum in the open water since mid December. I could have gone and should have gone, however found it very easy, especially at this time of year, to find fairly convincing reasons not to go. I was not fooling Ally at Swimyourswim though, who sent me a lovely message, to which I found myself confessing I had been making excuses not to go as I felt I’d pushed myself to my limit last time. She politely told me I needed to get back on the metaphorical bike and suggested a dip the following week. Leon on the other hand took a different approach. His message went like this “if you don’t come back soon I shall start calling you Indoor Water Woman instead!” And so before he began threatening me with breaching any trades description acts I agreed to go that week.

So with New Year’s resolutions decided, and the Hurly Burly booked, all I needed to do was to get started with the other 3. Coach had arranged for me to complete a critical swim speed session that will establish my threshold pace, however on the morning of the swim I didn’t feel all that great. I set off to get to the swim, but thankfully changed my mind half way there, and turned round to go home. Just in the nick of time as it happens, and spent the next 3 days unable to remove myself from the sofa, and my kids to fend for themselves. All hope of NYR#2 happening sooner rather than later was gone, as I was forced to stay put whilst my grumpy self recovered. I’m not a great patient, and being ill was deeply unpleasant, however it did mean that my calorie intake was severely reduced on account of not being able to keep anything down, and so rather than any valiant effort on my part, it has actually kick started NYR#3, and there’s the silver lining right there!

I was keen to get the ball rolling, however decided to leave the open water swim for another week. I’ve swum in the cold before, whilst not feeling 100% and no good came out of it. I messaged Star Baker Chris to let him know I would be there at the weekend, and that if he was going, and also taking requests from AWOL swimmers, my favourite ‘welcome back’ cake of choice would be either his legendary brownies, or Guinness cake, and whilst I am very aware this contravenes NYR#2, eating energy food containing sugar is actually recommended by the NHS to help recovery from hypothermia. It’s a loose fit, I’ll grant you, but you have to eat what’s at hand, right? And Chris goes to so much trouble, and if medical practitioners say it’s a good thing, who am I to argue? Cake order sorted, and a quick catch up, Chris told me that in my absence he’d been helping the support team at Hatfield. “Not the getting dressed bit though?” I asked, and as I’m still awaiting a reply, I immediately called Shark to ask if she was up for a stint of towel holding. I’m very fortunate really that she readily agreed after I bribed her with the offer of (Chris’s) cake, but was actually prepared to stoop very low indeed, had she not been agreeable with cake, to get her to come (I’m talking possible kidnap).

Despite me being laid up, I have been making great use of those long, lazy days on the sofa by researching some rather lovely B&B’s in Wales to stay at the night before the swim (it’s an early one!), and as I am in good time I have managed to secure a rather lovely plush room, not even a stones throw from the beach where we will be setting off from. (Note to Shark- I’ve booked us a room. (Yay!) I know this will be a lovely surprise for you when you read this, and on the plus side, it’ll save me asking you directly for the 50 quid you now owe me, and you’re welcome!). So enforced rest may have prevented me from getting started with all but one of my New Year’s resolutions, but it sure bagged me a nice B&B ready for the swim that I’m not actually match fit for yet! Yet another (small) silver lining!👍

Finally, it's a year since I first began writing my little blog, which stared as a way of writing about my recovery, the training and the swim I did last year (Windermere one way). I have been amazed and overwhelmed at the amazing response, and lovely messages of support I have had. After I had completed the swim I was asked if I would consider putting last year’s journey into a book. Going from a blog to an e-book is something quite different, and a lot scarier, however I decided after a lot of consideration to take the plunge (no pun intended) and do it, and finally has now been published this week on Amazon. How amazing (but mostly scary) is that? I hope that for those of you that read it feel inspired to not only take on difficult challenges, but also to never underestimate how far you can push yourself to achieve what you set out to do.

Open Water Woman Swims Windermere is available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Open-Water-Woman-Swims-Windermere-ebook/dp/B079ZB1775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520196854&sr=8-1&keywords=jacqui+Hargrave

A few web addresses referenced in the blog. You’re welcome!

https://www.outdoorswimmingsociety.com/the-hurly-burly/

http://openwaterwoman.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/attempting-to-swim-ice-mile-is-not-for.html

http://openwaterwoman.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/attempting-to-swim-ice-mile-is-not-for.html

www.myevolve.org

http://swimyourswim.com 

I post regularly on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. If you'd like to follow/like here are the links:

 @Openwaterwoman_
Open Water Woman

https://www.instagram.com/openwaterwoman/ 

The Christmas gift of a new watch - The Garmin Forerunner 735XT

Basically the need for a new swimming watch, in brief, goes like this; my old, and trustworthy Garmin broke. It was a swift death, brought about by someone (me) being a bit careless and dropping it on a concrete floor. I cried real tears and held a minute’s silence after which I spent the remainder of the day wearing a black armband mourning my loss. Not really, what actually happened was; I said lots of sweary words and felt miserable for the rest of the day, and at every watchless training session after that.

I’ve been lost without one, and had resorted to using my open water watch in the pool, which unfortunately doesn’t have the functions that I like, and so has been neither use nor ornament really, so it’s time for a new watch that is suitable for both the pool and the open water and has on it the functions that I like, and use, and how fortuitous, the timing couldn’t be better really, what with Christmas coming and all…

So, after tons of extensive research, well basically going on the website of various watches having sent a plea out on social media for advice on the best watches, followed by watching various YouTube clips (a couple were great, others less great) and reading some reviews, I decided that the best one for me would be the Garmin Forerunner 735XT.

In order that ‘Santa’ would get the correct present, subliminal messages were strategically placed around the house. And for these of you who didn’t get what you wished for, read and learn. The tried and well-tested strategy goes like this:

1.     Hint – relentless hinting works. These include: Leave magazines open on relevant pages in obvious places. Here are a few examples: the coffee table, kitchen counter, sock drawer, garage, anywhere really. Several relevant tabs left open on the computer (showing you’ve done your research always looks good). Change the screen saver on the computer to that of your gift choices (don’t do a montage – that’s too obvious). Leave barcodes and pictures of your gift of choice here, there and everywhere (saves time for them and ensures they get the right gift. Tell anyone that’ll listen that you are in dire need of said item and how your life would be enriched with it in it. I speak from bitter experience here - Please, please also include the colour you would like (if you happened to be that lucky)… And in my case, as it is well known universally that black is a slimming colour – black it is!

2.     There is no number 2.

Fast forward to Christmas day, and my winning strategy has paid off. I opened the gift, digging deep into my pretty limited, but impressive acting repertoire (I secured the leading role of Mary in the school nativity aged five, and sang Wiggly Woo on stage at the Pantomime with Charlie Williams aged eight) with what I felt was the right level of acting surprised. I rounded this off by doing some kind of jig around the room (If I said one word – Carlton- that’s the level). I wanted my kids to be satisfied that they had pulled the surprise of surprises out of the bag, and I think they were. I am aware that there’s a fine line between pulling something off and over acting, and I’m not entirely sure after that dance whether I crossed it! 

I unpacked the watch with great care (couldn’t bear another loss), and thank my lucky stars that Garmin had provided an idiots guide to using it. As a child of thne 70’s I am completely useless when it comes to technology, and without basic guidance the watch would have an unfulfilled  life living in the kitchen drawer – unused and unloved. 

So with beginners guide in hand, watch plugged in, I sat in front of the computer for the best part of 3 hours registering/looking/learning/playing around with it, which resulted in Christmas lunch being a little later than originally planned (3 hours later)! No one cared, they were far too busy eating selection boxes and counting their cash. No one ate any of the satsumas I had bought though. 

Once I was up and running, the first hour was spent looking through the downloadable watch faces (prioritizing), and after several changed minds later opted for the biggest clock I could find. I blame the winter darker days for this, but the bitter truth is actually that my middle-aged eyes struggle with anything less than huge close up.

As part of setting the watch up, it asks me all sorts of personal questions, including how much I weighed!?!?  And as I’m not entirely comfortable with this ask after eating my body weight in chocolate even before Christmas had arrived, I wonder whether I risk the watch being slightly less than accurate and consider inputting the weight I’d like to be, rather than the weight I actually am. I opted to compromise and decide on my pre-Christmas weight, and hope that it’s only a matter of a couple of weeks till I can be there again (fingers crossed, and probably will need my jaws wiring too).

The watch has several features, one is them is a wrist based heart monitor, and so on Christmas day afternoon ‘researching’ this feature was conducted doing some horizontal resting on the sofa, after all cooking Christmas lunch is exhausting, and I felt that a short Nanna Nap was a great way of checking the watches accuracy. It was working a treat for twenty minutes, before unexpectedly I was awoken from my research by the watch. It beeped (and vibrated on my wrist) at me, and when I looked at the display it just said ‘move.’ I think if it had a larger watch face it would have probably added ‘your lazy arse!’ or something similar! And so, even though it’s Christmas day, and I don’t have the luxury of my own pool to swim in as I see fit, I took my poor dog, who does not like being walked one bit (I do question the legitimacy or her Kennel Club certificate, who ever heard of a spaniel that doesn’t like a walk?) for a walk. It was the first of three we did that day (all prompted by the watch). The forth I did alone, as the dog went ‘missing’ and was found later fast asleep in her hiding spot behind the tree (she is still sulking, and avoiding me several days later).

By the end of the day I think I was familiar enough to risk a swim in it. I was all good to go, I’d even downloaded a pool workout (if this works it’ll save me remembering to take my laminated training sheets to the pool). I would have also liked to have used one of their training plans. I have a 10km swim at the end of the summer season, and although I’ve done a few now and have always followed my own plan, it would be nice to try something different. You never know, it may improve my time…but unfortunately it doesn’t have a scheduled training plan just for swimming (it does running, cycling and triathlon), which is a great shame, however not the end of the world… I’ll just have to carry on with my own! 

The watch also has a sleep rate monitor, and I was intrigued to see how well I was sleeping, and what my resting heart rate was, so went to bed wearing it. I woke earlier than normal the next day (before the dawn chorus in fact) that’s how keen I was to see what it said. Turns out I’d slept very well, which could have been helped by the enormous glass of Bailey’s that I had just before I went to bed, or could also have been the excessive walking I did in a bid to please my watch. And when I look at the data it told me that I’d pretty much not moved all night and that my resting heart rate was (I thought) very low indeed, and far too near the flat line for my liking. I spent the first fifteen minutes of my waking day on the Internet checking resting heart rate ranges to find that it is lower that average. I wasn’t sure whether to be delighted with this, so called Shark for some free medical advice, she was a little short with me on the phone, told me that I wasn’t going to die from it, and then put the phone down. It was at this point that I realized how very early it actually was, and sent her a ‘sorry, I’m an utterly shit and inconsiderate friend” text; probably waking her again!

With Christmas over with and training back on, when it came to my first pool swim, thankfully there were several other swimmers with the same watch. This was good news for me, I knew if I was unsure of which button to press I could ask one of them, but as it happens several of those swimmers watches were also on their maiden voyage, and they too were cautiously pressing buttons and asking for help too… from me! I informed them of my lack of technological ability, added to shoddy eye sight, I was by far the worst possible choice when it came to advice/guidance…a bit like the blind leading the blind frankly!

As far as the watch goes, it’s so far so good, I have done several swims in the pool, all of which have been accurate… well to be fair, we all know that I can lose count of how many lengths I’ve done in the early teens when doing a longer swim, so I only think that it’s accurate, but then that is one of the reasons I got it! The screen is great, I’ve set it up on the ‘huge’ typeface setting so I can read it (don’t want to do more lengths than is actually required because I saw the wrong number), which means that I no longer have to consider Shark’s impractical suggestion of taking a magnifying glass poolside to help!

Finally, it's a year since I first began writing my little blog, which stared as a way of writing about my recovery, the training and the swim I did last year (Windermere one way). I have been amazed and overwhelmed at the amazing response, and lovely messages of support I have had. After I had completed the swim I was asked if I would consider putting last year’s journey into a book. Going from a blog to an e-book is something quite different, and a lot scarier, however I decided after a lot of consideration to take the plunge (no pun intended) and do it, and finally has now been published this week on Amazon. How amazing (but mostly scary) is that? I hope that for those of you that read it feel inspired to not only take on difficult challenges, but also to never underestimate how far you can push yourself to achieve what you set out to do.

Open Water Woman Swims Windermere is available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Open-Water-Woman-Swims-Windermere-ebook/dp/B079ZB1775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520196854&sr=8-1&keywords=jacqui+Hargrave

I also have a 'group' page on Facebook and am on Twitter and Instagram, where I post daily shenanigans and such like. If you'd like to join/follow you'd be very welcome. Here are the links. 😊

 @Openwaterwoman_
Open Water Woman

The Christmas gift of a new watch - The Garmin Forerunner 735XT

Basically the need for a new swimming watch, in brief, goes like this; my old, and trustworthy Garmin broke. It was a swift death, brought about by someone (me) being a bit careless and dropping it on a concrete floor. I cried real tears and held a minute’s silence after which I spent the remainder of the day wearing a black armband mourning my loss. Not really, what actually happened was; I said lots of sweary words and felt miserable for the rest of the day, and at every watchless training session after that.

I’ve been lost without one, and had resorted to using my open water watch in the pool, which unfortunately doesn’t have the functions that I like, and so has been neither use nor ornament really, so it’s time for a new watch that is suitable for both the pool and the open water and has on it the functions that I like, and use, and how fortuitous, the timing couldn’t be better really, what with Christmas coming and all…

So, after tons of extensive research, well basically going on the website of various watches having sent a plea out on social media for advice on the best watches, followed by watching various YouTube clips (a couple were great, others less great) and reading some reviews, I decided that the best one for me would be the Garmin Forerunner 735XT.

In order that ‘Santa’ would get the correct present, subliminal messages were strategically placed around the house. And for these of you who didn’t get what you wished for, read and learn. The tried and well-tested strategy goes like this:

1.     Hint – relentless hinting works. These include: Leave magazines open on relevant pages in obvious places. Here are a few examples: the coffee table, kitchen counter, sock drawer, garage, anywhere really. Several relevant tabs left open on the computer (showing you’ve done your research always looks good). Change the screen saver on the computer to that of your gift choices (don’t do a montage – that’s too obvious). Leave barcodes and pictures of your gift of choice here, there and everywhere (saves time for them and ensures they get the right gift. Tell anyone that’ll listen that you are in dire need of said item and how your life would be enriched with it in it. I speak from bitter experience here - Please, please also include the colour you would like (if you happened to be that lucky)… And in my case, as it is well known universally that black is a slimming colour – black it is!

2.     There is no number 2.

Fast forward to Christmas day, and my winning strategy has paid off. I opened the gift, digging deep into my pretty limited, but impressive acting repertoire (I secured the leading role of Mary in the school nativity aged five, and sang Wiggly Woo on stage at the Pantomime with Charlie Williams aged eight) with what I felt was the right level of acting surprised. I rounded this off by doing some kind of jig around the room (If I said one word – Carlton- that’s the level). I wanted my kids to be satisfied that they had pulled the surprise of surprises out of the bag, and I think they were. I am aware that there’s a fine line between pulling something off and over acting, and I’m not entirely sure after that dance whether I crossed it!

I unpacked the watch with great care (couldn’t bear another loss), and thank my lucky stars that Garmin had provided an idiots guide to using it. As a child of thne 70’s I am completely useless when it comes to technology, and without basic guidance the watch would have an unfulfilled  life living in the kitchen drawer – unused and unloved.

So with beginners guide in hand, watch plugged in, I sat in front of the computer for the best part of 3 hours registering/looking/learning/playing around with it, which resulted in Christmas lunch being a little later than originally planned (3 hours later)! No one cared, they were far too busy eating selection boxes and counting their cash. No one ate any of the satsumas I had bought though.

Once I was up and running, the first hour was spent looking through the downloadable watch faces (prioritizing), and after several changed minds later opted for the biggest clock I could find. I blame the winter darker days for this, but the bitter truth is actually that my middle-aged eyes struggle with anything less than huge close up.

As part of setting the watch up, it asks me all sorts of personal questions, including how much I weighed!?!?  And as I’m not entirely comfortable with this ask after eating my body weight in chocolate even before Christmas had arrived, I wonder whether I risk the watch being slightly less than accurate and consider inputting the weight I’d like to be, rather than the weight I actually am. I opted to compromise and decide on my pre-Christmas weight, and hope that it’s only a matter of a couple of weeks till I can be there again (fingers crossed, and probably will need my jaws wiring too).

The watch has several features, one is them is a wrist based heart monitor, and so on Christmas day afternoon ‘researching’ this feature was conducted doing some horizontal resting on the sofa, after all cooking Christmas lunch is exhausting, and I felt that a short Nanna Nap was a great way of checking the watches accuracy. It was working a treat for twenty minutes, before unexpectedly I was awoken from my research by the watch. It beeped (and vibrated on my wrist) at me, and when I looked at the display it just said ‘move.’ I think if it had a larger watch face it would have probably added ‘your lazy arse!’ or something similar! And so, even though it’s Christmas day, and I don’t have the luxury of my own pool to swim in as I see fit, I took my poor dog, who does not like being walked one bit (I do question the legitimacy or her Kennel Club certificate, who ever heard of a spaniel that doesn’t like a walk?) for a walk. It was the first of three we did that day (all prompted by the watch). The forth I did alone, as the dog went ‘missing’ and was found later fast asleep in her hiding spot behind the tree (she is still sulking, and avoiding me several days later).

By the end of the day I think I was familiar enough to risk a swim in it. I was all good to go, I’d even downloaded a pool workout (if this works it’ll save me remembering to take my laminated training sheets to the pool). I would have also liked to have used one of their training plans. I have a 10km swim at the end of the summer season, and although I’ve done a few now and have always followed my own plan, it would be nice to try something different. You never know, it may improve my time…but unfortunately it doesn’t have a scheduled training plan just for swimming (it does running, cycling and triathlon), which is a great shame, however not the end of the world… I’ll just have to carry on with my own!

The watch also has a sleep rate monitor, and I was intrigued to see how well I was sleeping, and what my resting heart rate was, so went to bed wearing it. I woke earlier than normal the next day (before the dawn chorus in fact) that’s how keen I was to see what it said. Turns out I’d slept very well, which could have been helped by the enormous glass of Bailey’s that I had just before I went to bed, or could also have been the excessive walking I did in a bid to please my watch. And when I look at the data it told me that I’d pretty much not moved all night and that my resting heart rate was (I thought) very low indeed, and far too near the flat line for my liking. I spent the first fifteen minutes of my waking day on the Internet checking resting heart rate ranges to find that it is lower that average. I wasn’t sure whether to be delighted with this, so called Shark for some free medical advice, she was a little short with me on the phone, told me that I wasn’t going to die from it, and then put the phone down. It was at this point that I realized how very early it actually was, and sent her a ‘sorry, I’m an utterly shit and inconsiderate friend” text; probably waking her again!

With Christmas over with and training back on, when it came to my first pool swim, thankfully there were several other swimmers with the same watch. This was good news for me, I knew if I was unsure of which button to press I could ask one of them, but as it happens several of those swimmers watches were also on their maiden voyage, and they too were cautiously pressing buttons and asking for help too… from me! I informed them of my lack of technological ability, added to shoddy eye sight, I was by far the worst possible choice when it came to advice/guidance…a bit like the blind leading the blind frankly!

As far as the watch goes, it’s so far so good, I have done several swims in the pool, all of which have been accurate… well to be fair, we all know that I can lose count of how many lengths I’ve done in the early teens when doing a longer swim, so I only think that it’s accurate, but then that is one of the reasons I got it! The screen is great, I’ve set it up on the ‘huge’ typeface setting so I can read it (don’t want to do more lengths than is actually required because I saw the wrong number), which means that I no longer have to consider Shark’s impractical suggestion of taking a magnifying glass poolside to help!

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 @Openwaterwoman_
Open Water Woman