Bearing in mind, we have known since last October, when our 3rd chance at getting across the Channel was not going to happen, not due to Covid restrictions this time, but instead due to some pretty unswimmable, wintry seas, that we would be attempting it again this year (lockdowns and adverse weather allowing). CSA rules state that we would need to re-do our 2 hour qualifying swim, and in order to stand the best chance at success, we needed it to be as near to 15.5 (but under) as we could get. Having said that, so far this year, the water temperature had been consistently pretty chilly and not managing to raise over 12.6oc up until now, and so I was fairly confident that nothing short of an unseasonal heatwave miracle would elevate the temperature to anywhere near to the required ‘below 15.5oc’ this week. I was so confident in fact that although the swim bud called me to remind me to pack my regulation costume, hot drink, water resistant snacks, along with several gazillion spares of everything, “just in case” that although I did, I actually put on a non-CSA regulation leg suit anticipating just a regular short, chilly swim session.
And so, when we arrived lakeside, standing with a thermometer in his hand, Jo announced that the temperature was indeed 15.4oc, which, as I was not expecting it, sent me into a flat spin. The swim bud promptly reminded me that I didn’t have time to faff about moaning about unpreparedness; I needed to get my kit (and my act) together with a neck breaking dash to get organised and lakeside in enough time to get the swim done before the session finished, it got dark and the chip shop closed.
Once I had changed, and we had handed out supplies to Chris on the boat and were in the water, there was suddenly no rush, and as we had to just be in the water for 2 hours, with no set distance to have covered, the whole of the first lap (all 800 metres) the swim buddy and I spend most of it trying to take our minds off the cold patches of lake and the long swim ahead, by mulling over some of life’s big questions, such as: do we have a regular portion of chips once we got out, or go all out and go big? Were cheesy chips better than chips and gravy? And as my goggles had misted over the moment I was the furthest distance away from my spare pair at the other side of the lake, we discussed the best trick to quickly demist them mid-swim without swallowing water through my nose and having a sneezing fit, however with limited resources (lack of washing up liquid, baby lotion and toothpaste) I went with the spitting option, which I had limited success with and needed reapplying every 20 minutes or so. The topic of conversation varied wildly, and also included some heavy theoretical discussions like: how deep is the Mariana Trench? (neither of us were anywhere near with our guesses, which were in truth so far away from the actual depth that I shall not be revealing our answers, other than to say we were miles away! And for those reading that are interested, a swift National Geographical search post-swim revealed it to be 36,201 feet - you're welcome) , How deep is the Titanic wreckage? (the swim bud came up with the conclusion that it was “pretty deep,” which she was awarded half a point for (12,500 feet)) and what are the actual chances of us seeing a shark whilst swimming the Channel? Which led to the discussion about extraction from the water versus catching it on camera should we actually see one close up - or even in the distance for that matter!
This swim was turning out to be, above anything else, informative on so many levels, and the learning didn’t stop there, as once we stopped for our first feed, the discoveries continued, and between us, Chris (best baker of Guinness cake ever, pilot, all round good egg) and I made some interesting discoveries:
1. I am very indecisive. Despite taking only 2 bars on the boat to eat during the swim (1 chocolate chip, 1 raspberry), I still faffed around for some time deciding which flavour I wanted before Chris got fed up and decided for me.
2. Despite me instructing Chris to “just throw it at me” I hadn’t actually checked whether my drinks bottle actually floated.
3. (Thankfully), Chris has a very bad aim and did not render me unconscious by actually following my instructions of “at me…” and instead landed just out of arms reach, which made me panic thinking it may not actually float.
4. It does float.
5. The protein bars I chose for this swim were awful wet. Also, they were awful dry too.
6. I need to work on my treading water whilst eating if I were to avoid drowning.
Once fed and watered I continued with my swim at more of a stately pace, probably because it felt cold, which only picked up when a lake snake (later identified as a piece of old rope which was once attached to a buoy) appeared in my eye line, and fearing for my life I took off at neck breaking speed combining the use of several different strokes in a bid to escape. The (to quote the swim bud) “overly dramatic” reaction mean I had drawn attention to Chris on the boat, who on being unable to identify any kind of stroke, decided to come and check I wasn’t in any actual danger from said piece of rope. Making the most of the opportunity of having the boat on hand, I had another drink and the remainder of my bar, and another discussion with the swim bud where I declared my disappointment at not choosing something a lot more delicious, like a scone for example, which naturally then moved onto the jam THEN cream debate, and also whether chocolate digestives would also have been a better choice, which THEN opened up another discussion as to whether the chocolate should be in the top or the bottom when you eat them, and despite McVitie's stating that the biscuit should be eaten with the chocolate on the bottom, I unanimously decided that, it taste better when you ate it 'upside-down' as has been the way for most people for millenea ...
We were once again on our way, by which time all the cold patches had disappeared, basically because the whole lake was now cold. I was starting to feel chilly and quite fatigued, which was when the swim buddy decided that warm thoughts were the answer, and told me we were to sing Club Tropicana on our heads to help this happen, and after informing the swim buddy that I could no longer remember the words as decades had passed since I last sang it at the school disco in the 1980's, much time was spent by her intermittently bursting into the song, which I have to admit, instantly transported me to sun lounger by a poolside somewhere where the sun was shining and the skies were blue. I must add that she was truly convincing, and easily surpassed the vocal talents of George Michael, in fact, I would go as far as to add that she really outshone the original version, and actually seemed to speed up the time, and before I knew it FINALLY, and much to my relief (for so many different reasons) the 2 hour mark had arrived!
We had completed it!
English Channel here we come!!!
