21 miles that is 2 Way Windermere - DONE!

All the training was done, and if Coach was to be believed, I was ready. I’d put the hours in, done sufficient carbing up (mostly of the cake variety), looked after myself (basically refused to do any housework for the past two weeks for fear of a household appliance related injury) and my feeding plan had been, well... planned really. I had bought several spare goggles (three), swimming costume and a box of surgical gloves as well as an entire week’s shopping budget on celebratory cake for afterwards.

Unfortunately, on the drive up to the Lakes, I received the news that Coach couldn’t join me for the swim, even though I needed him on the boat to remind me to think about my left arm when I was tired, and to watch my hand entry, and to count my stroke rate, basically, I thought it was pretty much going to be a fourteen hour coached swimming lesson! Coach assured me that his replacement would do an equally good job, and him not being there in person would not affect my swimming at all. Immediately after, in panic I called Shark and told her that unless she broke a limb she absolutely had to still be there on the boat… and even if she did break one, she had to at least try and make it. 

The two hour drive up to the Lakes had been a mixture of light and heavy, thundery downpours. The horrid weather had been a concern all week. I had pretty much checked at least four times daily in the week leading up to it hoping that the weather would take a turn for the better. I had several weather Apps on the go and the plan was to look at them all and go with the most favourable, but they all told the same story. Heavy rain and thunder every day, with the exception of Monday. The day of my swim, however as the day neared, this changed from cloudy to sunny to rainy and back again, and because when I set off all the Apps forecast rain for the day, I didn’t bother to pack any suntan lotion. I wouldn’t mind, but I had bought some reef-friendly stuff too – especially (not that there are any reefs in Lake Windermere that I knew of). 

Inclement and indecisive weather conditions.

Fingers crossed!

The night before the swim I laid out all of the things I needed for on the boat, and checked I had all my multiple spares. There was a lot, and because I had been told that room on the boat was tight, had to squish them all into one bag because there was absolutely no room whatsoever in my other one. That was full of food because regardless of my very carefully planned feeding plan, I had packed multiple extras of everything in there too!

I was woken early on the morning of the swim by my alarm. I was both surprised (it made me jump) and delighted. I hadn’t expected to get a wink of sleep. I was meeting the boat at Fell Foot at seven AM, and wanted to have a hearty breakfast before I started. I decided against having the bacon and egg sandwich that I had originally planned, on the back of the fact that the previous night I had been cooking pasta carbonara, which incidentally was not the best idea I had had, on account that my daughter’s boyfriend’s mum was Italian, and as my carbonara was average at best, it would never compare. And in true form, I underestimated the heat of the grill (easily done in an unfamiliar kitchen), and managed to burn the pancetta, and nearly the whole of the apartment block down in the process! All of the fire alarms went off and alerted everyone in the near vicinity of my ‘a bit sh*t’ cooking skills. It was decided by unanimous decision that I should absolutely NOT cook bacon for breakfast. I agreed. 

After I had made my sandwiches for the swim, prepared my hot Ribena and re- emptied my bag to check for the hundredth time that I had everything, including my spare of everything, and my spare spare. I was ready. I met Shark outside, where I found her wet weather appropriately dressed, and carrying three bags. Three! I reminded her that room on the boat was tight, and actually, what did she need three bags for? She pulled out a pair of fishing waders, an Aron jumper and two books, one entitled The Compete Guide to knots and the other Intrepid Voyages out of one, and in the other two she had enough food to sustain a family of five for the day, a packet of blister plasters, a huge tub of Vaseline, some surgical gloves, spare Fat Rascals, a humongous phone charger and some welly socks. All essential stuff for several hours on a boat. I did noticed the absence of a special blue bucket or a Portaloo, but knew that because she usually couldn’t go from my house to hers without needing to go, which was only a fifteen minute drive, and she was as organised as I was, that she would have the whole ‘how to go to the toilet on a small boat, whilst in the middle of a lake’ thing covered, even if I couldn’t see any obvious evidence of it. Shark also announced earlier in the week that she had been known to suffer from a bit of motion sickness, like on every journey over an hour! She assured me she had it covered with medication, an anti-sickness wrist band, some ginger ale and had been practicing some breathing techniques having ruled out the possibility of being able to have a lie down on the small boat with two other people and several large bags taking up all the spare room. I just requested that if she were to ACTUALLY be sick that she could be considerate and do it on the opposite side to where I was swimming. 

We arrived lakeside at seven in the morning to beautiful sunshine, and I realised that not bringing the suntan lotion would mean that I was going to end up with possibly burnt hands and face. Rookie error! Lake Windermere was a millpond. There was not a ripple to be seen. It was going to be a beautiful (sunny) day after all, all day according to my Apps. I had checked twice already today. I handed my bags to the crew on the boat and got ready. I had my safety briefing, whilst at the same time being slathered in a ton of Vaseline and being shoehorned into my wetsuit, before I was good to go. This was it. Twenty-one miles to go!

One safety briefing later, I'm ready
Leon is absolutely not pushing me in on this pic!

Family and friends had come to wave me off and cheer me on. I managed to successfully get down the slipway (or the walkway bit next to it) and in without breaking my neck or tripping. So far so good, and after several very enthusiastic waves and an unexpected mouthful of lake water, I was off. It was a minute or two in, when the penny dropped that I had a good fourteen hours of swimming still ahead of me still, and suddenly it felt very overwhelming. I wondered whether now would be too late to reconsider or have second thoughts, but decided on the back of the fact that to take my wetsuit off now would be exceptionally messy, that it was!

I set off at a steady pace, enjoying how tranquil it was. It felt like we were the only people on the lake. Shark pointed out to me that there was a row of feathers almost guiding the way, which made me smile, before Mike (skipper) informed us of the cheery reality that there would probably be a featherless dead bird somewhere nearby, as there was an awful lot in one place, ruining what was otherwise a lovely moment. 

Perfect start!

I had asked family and friends for good luck and encouraging messages before the swim for Shark to read out to me at each feed, and it was lovely to hear them, especially the one from my brother, which really made me laugh and also made me choke on my drink. I had no idea whether this was his intention, but when we were younger I know it absolutely would have been! Unbeknown to me Shark had also contacted several other people that I knew nothing about, and so when she read out one from Jaffa Cakes, I was beside myself. They added in their message that I should imagine all the Jaffa Cakes waiting for me at the end, and I understood this as they would be getting a full truck load – all for me- sent up to the Lake District for my finish, and as a direct result of this, put my back into it a bit more, after all, could there be a better incentive to finish quickly? 

The water was mostly calm for the first half, except when the ferries passed. I had taken the time to stop and tread water a few times to enjoy the views, watch some of the military aircraft that went over, hoping they were actually part of the Red Arrows display (they weren’t) oh, and to swallow the feather I accidentally breathed in! At around half way, I had to stop to wait for the cross ferry to pass because basically, it would have been really careless of me to be unable to finish the swim because I had swum into the rather large boat. Instead I used this opportunity to feed, to listen to some feedback from Coach (on the phone) and to wave frantically to my family and friends were on the shore line having repositioned themselves further up the lake, and as it turned out (I found out afterwards), in someone’s lakeside front garden, I suspected, but couldn’t be sure, that they was not entirely there by invite, but I was so happy to see them and was prepared to overlook their possible trespass.

Me - sticking to front crawl!

As I had time on my hands, and because they had taken the time to come and cheer me on, I decided to treat them and to use the opportunity to show them I was more than just front crawl, by performing a little swim medley whilst I waited for the ferry to pass, unfortunately, after one stroke of butterfly I realised that I actually hadn’t done butterfly in well over thirty five years, back when I was young and agile, and I also remembered that despite being young and agile, I wasn’t all that great at it back then either! I quickly rethought the medley idea in favour of sticking to a hundred percent front crawl to avoid injury or humiliation, or possibly both!

As part of my swim plan, I had decided that I would have two paracetamol every four hours and one ibuprofen every four hours (in short, I am hypermobile, and because of this on long swims I get really stiff and am prone to joint pain). Taking painkillers just took the edge off and allowed me to continue pain free. Keeping a log of when I had had them, and giving it to me was yet another one of Shark’s jobs at the relevant feed stops. All very straight forwards you would think, and yet between us, and I couldn’t tell you who was at fault, somehow we managed to drop one of the tablets down the front of my exceptionally tight wetsuit. It was a complete mystery as to how we managed it, but rummaging around the front of my highly Vaselined wetsuit to try and find it, was not on the cards, and so by mutual decision we left it (found partially melted at the end of the swim rather randomly near my left hip?!?!).

The need for Shark to have to furtle down the front of my wetsuit came soon enough though. Throughout my training I had struggled with chafing on my neck, I’d even bought a new wetsuit in the hopes that it would stop rubbing, however I knew that swimming for this length of time I was unlikely to come away unscathed and so needed to come up with an anti-chafing swim plan to prevent my neck from becoming really sore and sparing myself the quizzical glances that came with having a very red and dubious looking mark on my neck… There were times during training I also had problems with chafing under my right arm, and in the interest of prevention, required as much attention as my neck did. Unfortunately for Shark, during this swim, this would require some quite acrobatic maneuverers to ensure that she hit the right spot. This was achieved by a combination of some quite impressive gymnastic moves (on my part), and also required her to become a contortionist, whilst not capsizing the boat or drowning me at the same time. She reminded me that it wasn’t ideal attempting to shove her (surgical gloved) Vaselined hand down the front of my wetsuit, and nor was it a job she realised would be bestowed on her when she offered to come with me, and in truth, I may have negated to tell her for fear that she may say absolutely no way... I know I would have! Unfortunately though, it was far too late in the day to think of retracting her offer, and so I informed her it was no picnic for me either AND, in an attempt to Top Trump her, I reminded her that I was swimming a very long way too!

All of the boat crew (Angela, Mike, Joe and Jonty) were first aid trained, and Shark was also a nurse, so I well and truly had any medical emergency covered by some highly qualified folks. Throughout the whole swim, the team in the boat were constantly checking for signs that all was not well with me. These included some basic questions that I would have no trouble answering (thank goodness there were no maths ones in there, they would have been hauling me out for the wrong reasons!), as well as other checks, things like my stroke rate and coordination. The tablet down the wetsuit was a fine example of lack of coordination however, I was prepared to contest this, and in fact, just blame Shark entirely if necessary!

Throughout the swim so far, I had diligently followed my feeding plan, which had been carefully put together based on nutritional know how (absolutely none of which was mine) and many, many trials. This was all but the last one on the first leg, when I decided that I didn’t like drinking 250ml of lemon and lime flavoured electrolyte anymore, in fact at this point even 1ml was a ml too many. I had instructed Shark to ignore me if I decided against something that was on the carefully compiled, tried and tested food and drinks list and insist that I eat or drink it ignoring any argument I put forwards (goes without saying that this did not include throwing up because of it), by any means necessary, something I regretted saying once I had made the decision I didn’t want the drink ever again. I can confirm that she did ignore me. She held her own very well and informed me that the boat would be going nowhere until I had drunk it and that she would cheerfully throw it down my neck considering it firmly in the ‘by any means necessary’ category if I didn’t drink it. She raised an eyebrow expecting me to challenge her, but despite me deciding that I never ever wanted to drink lemon and lime flavoured stuff ever again, drank it, after all, that was why I had a feeding plan!

After this feed, I noticed that Mike had put on his Swimzi and was putting on some gloves. As a child, my dad only ever put on driving gloves for one reason. Atrocious weather conditions. I prepared myself for the worst, however the sun still shone, and I could see no sign of imminent rain, thunder, snow or ice, it had just become a little choppier, which unfortunately slowed my pace down somewhat. According to Shark, that coat had become a very welcome wind break. I was unaware that the wind had picked up that much, but it would explain the more stately pace I was now swimming at. 

Despite the slow pace, thanks to the headwind, and possibly tired arms, finally we were approaching Low Wood Bay, at which point I knew there was about an hour to go until we reached Ambleside and the halfway mark. I was especially looking forward to this because I had promised myself that this feed, because it marked the half way point, that I would celebrate with some (lots of) Jaffa Cakes AND because, as my family had told me they were decamping to the pub and jetty at Ambleside, where they would bring me a well deserved, and very welcome cappuccino (made with skimmed milk though… full fat milk and I were not compatible horizontally my trials uncovered), and I was very excited about that. 

After seven hours I finally arrived at Ambleside. The second half of the first half had been a little choppier, and we had lost some time. I stopped next to the jetty whilst they swapped the crew and refuelled. This feed was to be one of my favourites so far, (probably a packet of) Jaffa Cakes and a cappuccino. As everyone knew that I absolutely loved Jaffa Cakes, I expected to be handed the whole packet and be left to it, after all, I could wolf one (packet) down in minutes. My friend Helen was put in charge of feed for this stop, and handed me a single, solitary Jaffa Cake. One! Fortunately for me, Shark was on hand and explained that I was best just being given them all, for fear that I may become quite grumpy on the back of it. And she did, however I realised that eating every single one out of the packet, as tempting as it was, would not necessarily be the best idea, and so reluctantly handed back the packet after I’d eaten a respectable six. 

No sooner had I finished eating, when Leon came over to tell me that at the current pace, it would be dark when I finished, and therefore needed to up my pace for this next half. He informed me that I would have the wind with me for the first half, and to make the most of it. He also informed me that the boat was ready, and I had to go. I had no questions for him, other than enquiring as to the location of my coffee. Shark yelled that it was on the boat, and I realised at this point that there would be little hope of me having it anything other than luke warm at best at the next feed stop.

As the second part of the swim progressed it became obvious that the precision that I very often showed, in fact prided myself on, during training swims had disappeared. Usually I was able to swim to a buoy with such precision that I usually hit it with one of several body parts, usually my hand or head or face, which I think was a testament to my pinpoint accuracy, however today I seemed unable to master it. After several frustrating miles, I finally realised that bilateral breathing wasn’t working for me, and resorted to breathing only to my left every four strokes. Sadly, this meant that my view was only ever the side of the boat rather than the spectacular scenery, but be that as it may, staying close to the boat really mattered today, for safety reasons, so I didn’t veer off course and so I didn’t lose them as the sky darkened, also so I didn’t swim even a metre more than I needed to. This swim was long enough as it was!

Overtaking one of several yachts (all stationary)!

Again, the first half I was swimming faster than ever. It was the thought of not being able to complete it because it was dark that was at the forefront of my mind, however as we passed the ferry for the final leg, the wind turned against us again, and I found myself once again with a headwind. It wasn’t the end of the world, and conditions were actually okay, if a bit choppier, but it wasn’t what I needed when I was already really tired and just wanted to finish the swim, preferably where I could actually see the finish.

With a couple of hours left the night really began to draw in. I noticed Shark and Jonty looking skywards and pointing. This was it. Finally, the Red arrows had arrived, and whilst I would have imagined that dusk was not the best time for their audience (me) to appreciate and enjoy the display fully, because basically I couldn’t see. Nonetheless, better late than never, and so in order to have the best view I decided on a stint of backstroke, but yet when I looked I couldn’t see anything red, or moving at a fast speed, or any formation smoke or anything else for that matter. The only thing in the sky was some clouds. Bemused, I stopped swimming and gave Shark a quizzical look. She again pointed to the sky and said “that cloud looks like a horse. How cool is that?” Absolutely NOT what I was expecting. I told her that I expected it to be the Red Arrows fly over I wanted with the amount of attention they had given it. Shark told me that she felt that I would be better putting the thought of them arriving out of my mind because despite her best efforts (an e-mail) she was still waiting for a response from them! She went back to cloud watching whilst I swam on. I blame Jonty for this new fascination with cloud formations. Shark has never showed signs of interestedness before. 

With an hour and a half to go the boat abruptly stopped. Either that was the fastest hour I had ever swum, and I won’t lie, for a second I was absolutely delighted, or more than likely something was amiss. I stopped and Shark leaned over the side of the boat, nearly causing it to capsize on top of me, and practically rammed a gel and several Jelly Babies down my throat. She then handed me a drink and went on to explain that she had received a phone call from Leon informing her that lightning had been seen in the distance inland, and that if it came over the lake, he would pull the swim. Shark had been instructed to tell me that I needed to swim on as fast as I could to avoid this. I nodded, but wasn’t entirely sure how fast fast actually was after swimming for over twelve hours already, but knowing that there was absolutely no way I could let a storm prevent me from finishing, I garnered some strength from somewhere (probably the excess sugar) and pressed on. 

That last hour and a half was by far the toughest, and not just because I was swimming on some very tired arms, but I just kept thinking what if it meant I couldn’t finish, before realising that those kind of thoughts were not healthy or actually helpful. I had not just swum nineteen miles to be told that I couldn’t swim the last two. I was not letting my friend, or the charity down, and so at a speed not too much slower than Michael Phelps, I swam on. It was quite an impressive pace I might add, which in the interest of honesty, may have also been because the water had become quite inky and as I was not a lover of swimming in the dark because I didn’t like surprises, and if I were going to be swam into, get eaten or pecked, I’d rather at the very least be able to have an even playing field as it were and be able to see it coming and get ready to put up a good fight (not that I would actually know what to do in such circumstances other than flee). It was safe to say, that the dark definitely contributed quite a lot to the quickened pace.

I knew I was nearly there when finally, after an hour and a half of exhausting arm turning, I was told that I needed to swim between two boats and towards the jetty. I couldn’t actually see the jetty in the dark, but was helped to swim myself the right way by my daughter yelling “land ahoy!” very loudly. I could also hear a lot of cheers, yells and noise which I followed until I could actually see the jetty (I was really close), and after some direction from Leon, who was standing on the edge, finally my knee felt land. In a flourish I stood up, and very unlike me, sort of punched the air. I couldn’t be altogether sure whether this was because I had done it, or because I had managed to do the almost impossible - standing up without keeling over or falling over sideways! Unaided, I hauled myself out of the water and onto the side of the slipway where it all began fourteen hours earlier. 

I was greeted with cheers, rather forceful pat on the backs, an air born lift and multiple cuddles. A DryRobe was thrown over me, and my initial thought was that rather than it being put on me to keep me warm, I was instead being kidnapped. It was immediately followed by an embrace by a rather excited Karen, who proceeded to squeeze what was left of the life out of me as I struggled to breath! On the phone my mum was crying, and my oldest friend Nicki was on FaceTime cheering. One of my friends, Helen, had made a huge banner that said, ‘Windermere Done!’ And I was presented with a very lovely trophy (my first ever), a certificate and a medal... that I have taken to wearing on a daily basis ever since!

Pride of place on my mantelpiece.

Celebrating with coffee and Fat Rascals.

And, FYI - the truck load of Jaffa Cakes? Unfortunately, I am still waiting for it to arrive, but I live in hope, and in the meantime, I shall continue to keep the local Jaffa Cake economy afloat with my multiple and many purchases!

Finally, not only did swim the 21 miles that is 2 Way Windermere, I also fulfilled a promise to my dying friend to raise money for the hospice that took care of her. Last count it was £4,054, something of which I am most proud of. 

2 Way Windermere included the following:

Fish sighting- 0

Swans- 0 (not even nemesis)
Skein of geese- 2

Eurofighters- 7

Helicopters- 4

Unidentified flying things (NOT UFO’s)- 2

Red Arrows- 0

Rainbows- 1

Feathers – 100’s

Dead, featherless birds – 0

Once again, thanks for reading, and for more regular updates on my swimming shenanigans, please follow me on social media. Just look for Open Water Woman.

Also, you can also find me on YouTube as Open Water Woman, where I do regular vlogs about my swims.  

2 Weeks to 2 Way Windermere

With two weeks to go until Two Way Windermere, and an e-mail from Coach asked that I do two things.


1) Look after myself and stay well for the next two weeks.
2) Follow the training plan to the letter and do NOT over train.

Unfortunately, neither happened because the following morning I woke up feeling decidedly under the weather. I couldn't believe it. I'd been training for this swim since October of last year, and I had been so careful about staying healthy. I'd even given up sugar (yes, including my beloved Jaffa Cakes, and believe me, no-one was more shocked than I) and had been researching and trialing the best foods for my swim. The foods that would (hopefully) sustain me through my training and also throughout my swim. I had taken a Berocca daily, along with multivitamins and probiotics and some special vitamins that women of a certain age would find beneficial, I had invested in sports massages, monthly physio and an odd, very welcome medicinal (loosely, okay, not medical at all), sauna session. I couldn't believe that after all this time I was coming down with something. I missed training, on account that I couldn't be altogether a hundred percent certain that I wouldn't throw up in the pool, and whilst I myself have swum through some unidentifiable things, I could not bring myself to go and inflict the possibility on someone else. So instead I took to the sofa for a day of educational daytime television and an extended Nanna nap.  My family suggested that I heading to bed for an early night "just in case I was highly contagious," and I agreed, so left them to it, but not before I ensured they had listened to my comprehensive  'how to heat up a lasagne' instructions, and put some salad leaves into a bowl, before I headed up. The following morning I found several pizza boxes in the recycling, and the lasagne still in the fridge, proving how resourceful they actually were, and the silver lining was that I didn't need to think about cooking anything the following day!

I woke feeling a lot better, but decided I wouldn't go for a swim, better to be safe than sorry I thought,  and give it another day. Instead I spent the day writing a very long list of what I needed to take to Windermere for the swim, and then doubled the quantities. I then took a trip to the supermarket to spend lots and lots on all of the food I had written down! I honestly hadn't realised how much I had, and feeling slightly panicked that I may have to have a food cull due to its combined weight threatening the integrity of the support boat, I thought it best to check with Leon that there wasn't any kind of weight restriction in place! He said I should be fine, but did remind me that it was also not a cruise liner and that space was limited. He also pointed out that I would not need to pack anywhere near as many as the four boxes of Jaffa cakes that I planned to take. I told him I would rather forfeit any and all other food than risk running out. I also suggested that if the boat were to start taking on water, for any reason, that he should consider throwing other things overboard first. Obviously I meant 'stuff' and not people, but the Jaffa Cakes needed to stay dry!

The training plan did have on it one more final long swim at the lake, which was four hours long. A maintenance swim I'd done it many times before, but for this swim particular I had planned on trialling several chocolate bars and chocolate brownies, and of course I needed to re-trial the Jaffa cakes .. again! With it being my last long swim and all, it was my last chance, and I had been saving these as a treat.

I arrived at the lake to grey skies. I was used to swimming in the cold and the rain and the wind by now and basically, some not very pleasant conditions, so wasn't too bothered by them. My weather App informed me that it would be wet, but warm. I'd swum in worse, so continued to put my wetsuit on without worrying about the conditions. I was so busy getting ready that I hadn't noticed that the safety boat was not on the waters edge, and nor was Leon, or anyone else for that matter, in fact, there was absolutely nobody anywhere to be seen at all. I found Leon instead sitting under the cover of the cafe. As I approached him, there was a huge clap of thunder, meaning that I couldn't get into the lake now for another hour, and so rather than moping about, we sat watching the torrential rain, whilst drinking coffee and scoffing a good majority of the chocolate bars I had brought of the swim. Another hour, and another clap of thunder, and yet another coffee and this time the chocolate brownies, as we waited yet another hour. By this time other swimmers had begun to arrive, and Fiona, whose day job was as a sports masseur. Fiona had arrived with her (massage) bed and, as I had another hour to kill, offered to give me a massage. I was torn, I mean the choice between a massage or another coffee sitting waiting for the rain to clear... It was close, but as I was already more than caffeinated enough and had eaten my way through several too many chocolate treats, but what really swung it was that I was not prepared to share my Jaffa cakes with anyone, and that was all that I had left in my bag, and so the massage won... although there was a very high possibility that it wouldn't be as relaxing as I would have liked, as I wouldn't be able to lie still for any great length of time on the back of the amount of caffeine I had spent the last two hours drinking!

Very atmospheric, but not swimmable...

With three hours gone, finally we were allowed in, and as I was a little apprehensive, I allowed a couple of fellow swimmers to get in and 'test the water' first as it were, before I got in myself. Don't judge me. I had an important swim to do, and being electrocuted by lightning just before would seriously scupper my chances of getting it done! Suffice to say, the four hours swim didn't get done, on account that there weren't four hours of daylight left, but on the plus side, I had a lovely two hours chatting and catching up with Leon, ate most of the food I had planned to swim mid-swim and got myself a lovely massage, albeit in my wetsuit with an audience of about thirty people that were also waiting to go for a swim! 

Once again, thanks for reading, and for more regular updates on my swimming shenanigans, please follow me on social media. Just look for Open Water Woman.

Also, you can also find me on YouTube as Open Water Woman, where I do regular vlogs about my swims.