Road Trip to Thames Lido

Back in May I suggested to swim buddy that it would be lovely to celebrate her forthcoming VERY LARGE birthday by going on a swimming road trip, however, after our previous trip, I was nervous about going on another one, and hoped that enough time had gone by for her to forgive and forget about the last one that I organised to Wales, for the Hurly Burly swim, which included - let’s call it a monumentally bad hotel choice, and leave it there. 

As soon as I suggested my idea, it was immediately followed by some shameless hinting, by her, about how lovely Thames Lido was, and as I’d not been and wanted to see for myself, I bought her one of their swim&dinner vouchers as a gift. To be honest, I should probably have given her two, so she could choose who she went with, being that it was her birthday and all, but as I was one hundred percent not confident that she would have chosen to go with me rather than Mr Shark, and having seen on line at how lovely it looked, I really, really wanted to go, so I bought her just the one ticket… just in case!

Despite her birthday being back in May, (Shark was really eeking out the celebrations), finally, this week several months later, we made it! I insisted that we drove this time, despite it taking four and a half hours to get there, this was because on a previous swim road trip when Shark was put in charge of transport, she managed to book us onto the only silent carriage on the twenty carriage train, which meant that we had to not talk for two very long hours, AND had to be quiet, which turned out to be nigh impossible when your snack of choice for the journey was the noisiest crisps in the world! And so, because Shark had been sacked from the role of transport organiser on the back of this, I insisted we drove instead so we could actually talk and eat anything we liked for the whole drive if we so wished. In the interest of fairness though, but mostly because my last hotel booking was more Faulty Towers than luxury escapes, I put her in charge of sorting out the hotel instead. More about that bad decision later...

Just to fill you in… and because I took the time to read up, I’ll share. 

In 1902 this amazing open air swimming pool was built for the ladies of Reading at the cost of £4,890 (the menfolk had their own 79m pool already built). Unfortunately, it closed in 1974, and fell into disrepair. It was on the verge of demolition when in 2004 it was granted Grade 2 listed status after a public campaign, and in 2013 the local council agreed to allow the management at Bristol Lido to develop the site. In 2017 it reopened to the public (NOT just ladies), and now includes a restaurant, bar, spa and the best fluffy towels, and looks all rather lovely!

We arrived in Reading and headed straight to our hotel (after getting lost twice). On first impressions it looked great, especially since it included all the basic requirements that were sorely lacking from the last one. The one I chose. Like an en-suite bathroom, a non-circa 1960’s carpet, a wardrobe with a door and full size towels that were large enough to actually cover every bit of you whilst you went from bathroom to bedroom... It also looked to have proper curtains (unlike the ones in Wales) – the type that drew fully. And it was at that moment, when I decided to take a look out of the window at the view of Reading, that I saw it… Or didn’t as the case was. The view – or lack of. The ‘view’ from the window was NOT of Reading town centre, or rooftops or anything at all. The view was completely blocked by a huge white box thingy. I chose to say nothing, because as far as complaints went, I really didn’t have a leg to stand on after my bad choice, but felt a little reprieved, because whilst we did have fully working curtains, it was still a really bad view!

After 4.5 hours we had finally arrived!

After we had unpacked, we quickly headed to the Lido, and not wanting to appear too keen (but we really were), we arrived at the Lido fashionably early and made the most of the opportunity to sample their coffee. We were going to only have coffee, on account that I usually wasn’t all that great with eating and then swimming straights after (unless it’s one from my tried and tested somewhat eclectic list – mainly comprising of Jaffa Cakes, Fat Rascals and Milky Way), however Shark insisted that if we were going to drive all that way, we should at least go for the full experience, and by the recommendation of the barista, we also tried the Turkish frangipani and a Portuguese custard tart. I didn’t usually like to break tradition of having cake and such like until after we had swim, but as it was a special occasion, decided that just this once, pre and post swim food was fine. The fact that they were absolutely delicious may have contributed to that decision… And actually, in the interest of a full experience, and because I absolutely didn't share, and also because I had a severe case of pudding envy, decided that breaking protocol on this occasion was absolutely fine with me… Unless I threw up, in which case it would be not fine with anybody, especially if the pool were to be evacuated.

After wolfing down our food (it was so tasty) I felt ready to conquer the world… well, the pool anyway! We decided that we would have a swim first, after all, that was what we had actually come for, and so headed to get changed. Shark couldn’t wait and because she couldn’t wait, entered the pool, not via the steps like everyone else, but just by hopping over the poolside because it was nearer. Unfortunately, it was a bit deeper than she anticipated, and instead more or less dunked herself under the water losing her cap and goggles and dignity. It could well have been karma at work, on the back of the fact that she didn’t shower before she fell, rather loudly, in… Learning by her mistake I chose to shower and then take the steps, because if anyone were to cock up getting into a pool, hands down (literally) it would be me!

Usually when I went swimming in a pool I got in and swam without even so much as registering my surroundings. I was there to train for something or other, and just want to get in and get on with it, however there was something about Thames Lido that made me not want to plough up and down this pool at high speed, but to take in my surroundings, and so instead, and because I was no good at breaststroke, did a rather random stroke that was a cross between doggy paddle and I have no clue what, which allowed me to savour the atmosphere (bit too whimsical? Probably.), I mean, if someone had gone to the trouble of spending four years and £3.5million restoring this amazing place, then the least I could do was to appreciate their efforts, and it was so lovely to be swimming outside in this suburban bolt hole. The heated pool made a lovely change from chillier lake water I was used to, and as I was confident that there would absolutely not be any aquatic livestock in the water, so what was the worst that could happen? A leaf attack?

After a lovely long ‘swim’ Shark was worried we wouldn’t have enough time to try anything else if we didn’t get a move on, and decided that we should immediately get out pf the pool and head to the hot tub. When it came to be getting out of water, I have learned that rushing to get out, whether pool or open water, would without doubt end in either a spectacular loss of dignity, or worse, a toenail.

No-one was in the hot tub, and as there was no-one else in it, we spent a couple of minutes relaxing before I decided that it was it was the perfect size to fulfil one of this year’s self-improvement challenges – to swim a length of butterfly in a pool, and because I didn’t actually specify how long that length had to be, I saw no reason to not do it in a ‘pool’ that was approximately 3.5 metres long. After all, a length was a length, right? After only one practice run under my belt, Shark strongly advised that I abort my mission on safety grounds, or on the likelihood that it would get us evicted - thrown out onto the streets of Reading wearing nothing but our costumes, and try again another time… Like when she wasn’t there, but I was determined, and Shark decided that if I was to do it, I was on my own and she would have no part in it. She took herself off to the sauna. Probably to laugh from there. 

Two butterfly strokes later and my challenge was complete. It was actually easier than I thought it would be, and I also managed to not graze my arms on either of the sides of the very narrow 'pool' too, which I consider a great accomplishment, as I have the wingspan of an albatross, and grazed knuckles (and arms and shoulders and even ear - best not to ask), usually from lane ropes, were a regular hazard for me. All this excessive training was tiring and with the excitement of achieving such a difficult challenge, I decided I would join Shark in the sauna for some well deserved R&R. 

It was really quite warm in there (working well). I preferred it to be a little cooler, probably an age thing, but couldn’t remember whether adding water to the coals actually made it even hotter or would make it colder, and because Shark couldn’t either, and we were unable to ask Siri, as we were on a technology free afternoon, Shark decided to throw caution to the wind and added a couple of ladles full to the coals, resulting in her giving herself a free steam facial at the same time, and making not one bit of difference to the temperature. 

After not very long, I decided we were not cut out for that kind of heat after all, and decided that rather than melt, I preferred the less hot café. Shark was hoping for a relaxing moment to people watch and enjoy the peace, but was unable to find it, as I was far too "fidgety and annoying." She decided that she would come with me back to the cafe after I reminded her of the 'full Lido experience' we had promised ourselves included more coffee and edible treats. On the way out, completely by accident, Shark fortuitously discovered some cold showers, and because we were going to be doing a Channel Relay next year, she felt that this would be an excellent way to acclimatise, and that we should make the most of the opportunity. I agreed, and selflessly suggested that because this was her (LARGE) birthday treat, as well as her suggestion, she should go first and ‘test the water’ as it were. A seriously terrible attempt at negotiating under the bucket ensued, until she decided to end any further discussions by pulling the chain and drenching us both in freezing water.

2 deliberate and 1 very unexpected deluge later we realised that it was getting nearer to dinner time, and because I was ruled by stomach, and as Shark would vouch safe, that if I wasn’t fed regularly I got a little grumpy, we decided it best to head for the showers. On seeing the mess we’d made, Shark left rather swiftly to "go and sort us some towels" whilst I was left to squeegee up the excessive water we managed to get absolutely everywhere because the Mrs Hinch in me would not allow me to leave it. Several long minutes later, whist Sharks hit the showers, I was still cleaning up, feeling a little like Cinderella to be honest! 

After making the most of the complementary facilities in the boudoir (which made a lovely change from the usual lack of facilities when open water swimming), we headed for the restaurant, and a post swim feast, including some celebratory drinks and yet more amazing sweet treats. I was struck yet again at what a lovely, special place this was, not only did it have my favourite thing ever - a cappuccino with a coffee rating of 10/10, and the adage of a great outdoor swimming pool too, but a warm and welcoming feel about it. I honestly didn't want to leave and go back to the hotel  - and our room without a view!