'A review' of the IISA 5th World Championships -Samoens 2023

 

First swim done!
Celebrating drinking tea in the jacuzzi

Where to start...

It ought to be with the swimming part. Write about how amazing it was (and it was), how I glided through the water without making even a splash (I didn't), and how effortless and efficient I was in the water after several months of training (I wasn't), but I'm not. I'm instead starting with the swimming costume...mostly because it features heavily.

I'll wager that all professional swimmers know that competition swimwear is designed to be tight. As a non-professional swimmer (although I still have my sights on this) I didn't, and as our costumes had been delivered straight to the event, there had been no time to try it on beforehand. I had accurately measured everywhere, and ordered the size accordingly, however being a complete beginner at all of this, unbeknown to me, it turned out that racing swimwear is meant to be super tight fitting. This is because it's designed to give a compressive fit, making it really, really tough, borderline impossible if you're me, to even get it over your knees without incident... To be honest, I feared that even the Borrowers would have struggled! Anyhow, after 40 minutes of showcasing some pretty impressive flexibility and unusual positions that any contortionist would appreciate, I was (for the most part) in. I feared I would need to either spend the whole weekend wearing it as I was uncertain as to whether I would be able to repeat the same choreographed performance needed to be repeated on one race day, let alone both, or would need to consider the more drastic action of needing to remove internal organs...I decided on the lesser serious choice, and based on the back of the struggle, also that my pre-swim MO of heavy carb loading would have to cease until after my last swim. 

Race day, and I was up early. After a final medical check, I was given the green light, well sticker actually, to swim. I walked into the ice village hall to find many swimmers had already arrived and were doing some quite strenuous warm ups. I felt pretty confident that my walk to the venue carrying a swim bag would be a good alternative to a more structured warm up, and I based this on the fact that my bag was far too heavy with far too much kit that I didn't really need,  as well as a ton of food (mostly Fat Rascals - if you know you know, if you don't Google them... THE best food ever (IMO), which I would not be able to eat based on the aforementioned swimming costume 'issue.' 

I'd been there for a short while when Jonty informed me that Stu (also known by his other name; Coach Ragnar - who coached me during my Windermere 2 way swim) had just walked in. I knew he was joking as we had seen him the week before and he hadn't mentioned it, only he wasn't joking. There he was stood in front of me as large as life telling me he had come to give me a last minute pep talk. I'm still not entirely sure whether this was actually why he was there, but the pep talk was gratefully received, even if I forgot everything he had told me during the race... too many other things to think about, like getting in in one piece and not breaking anything, remembering the 'do not touch the ladder' rule and how to swim... 

After settling in, locating the coffee tent, and being briefed on the why's/wherefores ect, I was ready for my first race. It wasn't long before we were called, and that's when my sartorial panic set in. What would I go to poolside wearing? Just my coat? coat and towelling robe? Just CROCS? CROCS and socks?Eventually, I decided to throw on everything, which I thought was a great idea (not because of how stylish the whole outfit looked, but because with this many layers, there no way I would get cold). I was poolside when I quickly realised that I was very overdressed for the expected time between the announcement to 'disrobe' and 'get in the water," which was incidentally a nanosecond. My fellow swimmers were waiting by the ladder to get in, waiting for me as I attempted to take off my robe without dislodging my goggle, at speed, along with my footwear, gloves and coat. Goes without saying that I was all flustered by the time I eventually got to the ladder. Despite this, I knew I needed to focus, and quickly... wooden stairs and I have history - one which included me headbutting a wall at a.n.other swim venue many moons ago. I needed to have my wits about me in order to not have a repeat performance whilst a crowd watched on.

 

Again, within miliseconds of successfully entering the water the buzzer went off and we were swimming. Interestingly, I really didn't feel the coldness of the water (3.7 degrees celcius), which my left eye really appreciated as it was submerged in it for the duration of the swim thanks to my aforementioned dislodged goggle, which began leaking the second I put my head in. Despite this, all the hours, days, months of training, and the moment was finally here, and gosh it was swift. It felt like it was over in a heartbeat, before I knew it the race was finished. 

I had managed to avoid the disqualifying ladder, and finish the race in what was for me a pretty decent time (obviously not in terms of the faster swimmer's standards, but for me, I was thrilled and in my excitement, combined probably with a bit of relief that I hadn't cocked it up, I lost my step getting out, grazing my nose on the side of the pool. It has been noted before that I am rarely the epitome of style and grace, and this would be yet another one of those occasions where once again I was not. Nonetheless, I couldn't have cared less, I was jubilant, and once I had warmed up, I headed over to the jacuzzis where I partied hard for the next 20 minutes, I say partied hard, I sat in it with Cathy Monro, or Fast Cath(y) as I named her, on account that she was an incredibly fast fellow swimmer in my heat, basically gold medal AND world record holder in her age category kind of fast (and also called Cathy, which I hope goes without saying), with a cup of tea talking about the swim, swimming in general and debating as to whether cake (me) or scones (Fast Cath (y)) were the ultimate post-swim treat. Cathy is lovely, as well as fast, but (IMO) my choice of treat by far exceeded hers. And less messy. 

Tea in the jacuzzi

Reflecting on it, I realised that I had not followed the race plan I had practiced countless times in the weeks leading up to the swim. The only thing I did the whole swim was to chant (in my head, obviously - ACTUALLY saying it would have resulted in me drinking half the lake. Also, they had drone coverage, it would have looked weird) 'do not get disqualified by touching the ladder,' which definitely worked, so there's that. I knew our relay was soon after, and so had quick bite to eat (replenishing calories obviously) of 3 chocolate biscuits, 1 slice of French apple tart and a substantial amount of very strong coffee (there's extensive research conducted that found that caffeine consumption is associated with an increase in performance, and therefore I was expecting great things in the relay...). You would be correct in thinking that after my swimming costume issued that I should probably not eat quite as much, and you'd be right, but I wouldn't be wearing it for the relay, on account that it was still wet. Instead, I would be wearing my spare, non-internal organ squashing costume - or so I thought at the time, and after I had finished, I was very quickly informed that any photos taken of the swim we would look more 'teamly' if we were all wearing our official GB costumes and so very reluctantly, and slowly, put it back on. It wasn't long after when Jonty announced that the VIP relay would be in 30 minutes, and asked as to where Lara (one of our teammates) was. Some unsuccessful frantic and panicked phone calls, texts, announcements on the tannoy followed, with still no sign, before eventually she appeared looking sightly dishevelled with her muddy costume in her hand. Unbeknown to us, she had finished her swim, and whilst undressing had taken a tumble, droppping her costume in the mud as she had gone to grab one of the Swimzi flags in a bid to save herself from hurting herself, and any public humiliation. Her tactic didn't quite pay off, and she informed us that she 'went down like a sack of potatoes,' not naked I should add, thankfully she was wearing her changing robe, swim coat, a woollen deetstalker and a leg warmer/ugg combination, before hitting the deck and hadn't realised that whilst she was busy trying to style the whole incident out to the gathering crowd, she had eleventy billion missed calls and messages asking her to hurry back, as we needed to head to the pre-race holding area. 

She eventually arrived in a flurry, and after a quick reminder from Jonty that unless she was planning on swimming naked, which would definitely result in an immediate disqualification for all the team, she would be best putting it on. I shot her a quick look. We had already dicussed how tight our costumes were, and both knew the odds of us getting her into it in the short space of time we had was slim, and would no doubt need to include some manhandling and possibly rejigging of her intestines to get her in. 

Before I go on, I first should explain the VIP relay. The relay consisted of 4 teams. 3 of the teams included some of the best of the best ice swimmers in the world, with a history of accomplishments, including; olympic medal winners, world record holders, the winner of the WOWSA Award for Woman of the Year, one of the world's 50 most adventurous open water women, the expedition leader of the Antarctic 2020 Internatonal swim, and the founder of IISA. The other team, the one I was in, consisted of 4 residents of Yorkshire with a shared passion for Fat Rascals. 

Anyhow, back to the enfolding drama. The team (Jonty, Emily and I dressed and ready to go, and Lara dressed in part, but definitely not ready for action) moved to the holding tent where several of the other teams swimmers were either talking strategy, warming up, having a quiet completetive moment (probably visualising their swim) and getting ready. Our team, on the other hand, were busily erecting a makeshift tent out of a towel and a swim coat to put around Lara as she put her still wet and muddy costume back on. After several failed attempts I joined her to assess the problem, and several frantic minutes later Lara emerged, looking no worse for wear (if you don't include the broken finger nail), with it securely on. 

Onto the swim. After discussing swim order, and of course the ladder rule, we decided to follow the lead of the other teams and talk tactics, however, after deciding that we couldn't think of any, we waited to get in. Swim order, first Lara, who did a pretty impressive first leg in breast stroke. Unfortunately, as all the other teams had opted for front crawl, and as they happen to be mostly olympians and ice swimming Titans, Emily, who was next in had a bit of catching up to do. A sterling effort followed, in fact Jonty slightly underestimated how fast she was and almost didn't get in the water in time (a bit trickier and time consuming to climb down a wooden ladder to get in with only 1 leg). Jonty was fast, and was holding his own racing against the other teams. Unfortunately, he was racing their 4th, and final swimmers, and as he completed his 2 lengths for me to swim our final leg, they had all finished and were getting out to celebrate, whilst I, on the other hand, had to swim 50 metres in the pool. On my own. With probably the whole village of Samoens watching. Several cameras. Oh, and a drone. I admit, as we were last anyway, and as I was about to swim it on my own, I would use this to practice my race plan for the following day's 50 metre swim and try to not cock it up by dislodging my goggles or swallowing half the lake. As I came to the end (avoiding the ladder at all costs obvs), I was pleased to see Jonty still in the water, and whilst I was touched that he had stayed in to cheer me in, he later admitted he was just having a 'rest break'... I cannot articulate how relieved I was (not a deliberate pun, but it fits) that my practice swim was successfully executed and not a drop of lake water was swallowed. 

Despite coming last, we were nonetheless over the moon, and celebrated with an impromptu photo shoot, lots of jumping up and down with our Yorkshire flag, and shared some Betty's biscuits in the jacuzzi. The sharing extended to rival team member Henri Kaarma, oh, and several other swimmers/supporters who also celebrated with us by also sharing the remainder of our biscuits, before dispersing once they had polished them off...

Team Frozen Roses and Henri Kaarma
celebrating 4th (and last) in the VIP relay

The final day, and my final swim. The 50 metres. My costume, towel and fur lined CROCS were now dry after spending the night on the ski boot drying contraption (note to self - fur lined CROCS are amazing if your feet are dry. Less amazing, and very tricky to get your feet into when they are wet and cold.  Also, when conditions underfoot are wet and muddy the risk of trenchfoot is high. 

The time of the swim had changed, and was now later leaving me time to chat with some of my fellow team mates, and when I say chat, I mean that several of them came over to help me eat some of my edible supplies under the pretext of 'chatting.' Anyhow, once suitable fuelled, my race was called, and I headed to the pen. This time I had ditched the socks as well as the towelling robe, and was more appropriately dressed for getting into the water at speed. The temperature was difinitely cooler than Saturday, and I was worried that despite me really not feeling yesterday's water temperature (I'm assured that it was the adrenalin that made it feel nearer to 20 degrees), I would feel it today. I needn't have worried, again the pace was so fast, and I really had no time to think about the temperature, I was too busy trying to remember to fit my goggles on correctly, to execute my swim plan, avoid the ladder, not slip and fal in and not cock it up in general really. 

The swim felt far more relaxed than yesterdays, and although definitely not a world record, was pretty speedy for me. I celebrated once again (once warmed through in the warming room) in the jacuzzi along with Fast Cath (y), Kate Steels (also fast) and Millie Bell (again, really fast), where we stayed until Cathy's hands went pruny and I declared I was ready for food.

And just like that, I had finished. No world records, no medals, (although IF I do this again, alongside my training, I will definately consider growing my nails really long to see of this helps with my placing. Don't want to miss a place by a milliseconds), but what I did have was a massive sense of accomplishment, pride and patriotism. 

Before I finish, I would like to say a massive thank you to my fellow Yorkshire swim camp members, Jonty Warneken, Lara Fawcett and Emily Smailes with whom I have had THE best time with. We have laughed until I nearly coughed up a lung, danced until I almost strained a limb, cheered until our throats hurt, shared several indecent exposure incidents (all Lara, I'd like to add), shared all of their amazing pre- and post swim snacks (not including the boiled egg - Lara) and they kindly forgave me when I shared none of my own (mostly because I ate them on the way to training camp), lost several ear plugs between us, 1 hat, 1 CROC, a pair of UGG boots and 3 socks (mostly down to the dog stealing them), talked and talked and talked (mostly to put off getting onto the cold pool), became fellow cheerleaders, (non-illegal) partners in crime and made the whole getting into really cold water every day bearable and fun (in its loosest sense).

I give you

The Frozen Roses

Finally, I had met/caught up with some fabulous people, to name a few:

Nick Hungerford - 50% Australian and 50% Londoner on your normal average day changing to 100% Australian when competing. 

Just to confirm that is not some kind of growth on Nick's soulder. It's Nigel photobombing.

Fenwick Ridley (and his fiancé) - Part Viking, part dolphin, and  thoroughly decent person (people), who will try and win by any means necessary. I give to Millie's lucky belt, the ice swimmers equivolent of heather/4 leafed clover/rabbit's foot/shamrock/horse shoe/elephant...

Millie Bell - uttery amazing swimmer, and the lovliest of girls - also from Yorkshire, bringing hope several well deserved medals, so absolutely of course gets a mention.

Robyn Dyson - swimmer of all distances, stroke and temperature, and despite her young age, imparted one of the best pieces of advice I could receive over the weekend 'try really hard not to hit the lane ropes - it stings. A lot.' Thanks to her I was mindful in all swims to stick to the middle of my lane. 

Nigel Robertson - team GB manager, who successfully managed my self inflicted high drama moment and turn it into something resembling a low farce. 

Kate Steels - utter legend, who, I can confirm (because she told me I had to) that despite how the photo looks, is not demanding that Fast Cath(y) elevates her hair above the water whilst she enjoys the jacuzzi. I recal there was a legitimate reason for it, which escapes me, but she did tell me it was absolutely NOT because she was being a princess. 

Evidence of the non-princess like behaviour 

Casually hung around with Chris and Liam Tancock (as in Olympian/world record holder Liam Tancock) from Swimzi. I've known them for ages and ages, but am still unable to persuade Liam (or Chris for that matter) into the water. 

Ram Barkai - founder of IISA, and from all accounts a relatively okay swimmer (I'd heard he's quite modest, and really wouldn't want me to list all his accomplishments, so I won't, but if you've an hour to spare at any time, there's an extensive list on openwaterpedia that I don't have room for. I did ask Jonty if I should courtesy when I met him. He said no. I did anyway - just in case Jonty had got it wrong. Here's the link.  https://www.openwaterpedia.com/wiki/Ram_Barkai) 

Ram's Sam (Whelpton) (as she was introduced as, and will be for me forever known as that) - utterly lovely and also happens to be pretty fast when it comes to ice swimming. Thankfully, as I am a gazillion years older than her we will never be in the same age category, as I fear if we were, I would have my a** handed to me on a plate! 

And last, but by no means least, the GB Team - we've had an absolute blast!

Team GB preventing anyone from going up or downstairs for the best part of 20 minutes.
Herding cats would probably have been easier! 

And, that's it. If you'd like more regular swim updates, as well as finding out what's next, follow me on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook group Open Water Woman.

Some of the photos are my own, others are credited to @marketing adventures